


White (Like His Lies)

by FettsJetts



Series: Favorite Colors [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Denial, F/M, Soulmate Color AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, color soulmate au, feelings suck amirite, wow talk about angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6306232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FettsJetts/pseuds/FettsJetts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>June hated the word "soulmate". She was positive it was bullshit, and that everyone saw black and white. Her mother used to tell her about colors, and when she and Nate got married, he would tell her about the colors he saw. Sometimes she felt bad, that she was his soulmate, but he wasn't hers. That's why she was so bitter. </p><p>She especially thinks its bullshit that her soulmate already has one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bit of a note

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off that one tumblr post about soulmates, that everyone sees black and white until they meet their soulmate, and they keep their colors when their soulmate dies.
> 
> Angst kinda happens because Deacon already had a soulmate, Barbara, so he can still see colors. So Junes doesn't wanna tell anyone that Deacon made her see colors. So yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little note to you guys.

Hey! So I've gotten an ass ton of comments on this story and they all make me feel amazing. So while rereading, the first chapter, I realized I'm so very unhappy with it. So I'm going on a mass edit to add more things, and change things that makes the story make more sense in my head.

Sorry for you teasing you guys and making you think there was a new chapter! But the rewrite for chapter 1 W I L L be up today. I'm going to finish it immediately after posting this.


	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright! Heres the rewrite! Its not too much longer than it was, but it changes it and makes it easier for me to write the next chapters.

Three (maybe four. She had lost track of time.) months since she came out of the vault, and she'd learned bare minimum knowledge about finding her son. Kellogg was long gone, but not before making a joke about her accent. He'd obviously been Goodneighbor, as his joke was in poor taste, comparing her to Whitechapel Charlie. She'd mercilessly enjoyed killing him, and the only thing she regretted from that day was that she'd stained her favorite shirt with his blood. And then she took sadistic pleasure is pulling out the tech that riddled his body. He barely resembled a man when she was done. 

And then she was stuck. She had to get into the Institute, and her only lead was a man named Virgil in the Glowing Sea, and she didn't have the resources to get there. She could try to find an undamaged hazmat suit, but those were few and far between and offered her no protection what so ever. She could go in power armor, but her power armor was missing a few panels that would allow for radiation to flow in. So, she was stranded until she could find a way in, and she'd have to find something else to occupy her time.

June had seen them everywhere. The lanterns, the arrows. She hadn't a clue what they meant at the time, not until she found the holotape in Hancock's office while he was stone off his ass. The Railroad. Maybe they were just another group that wanted to kill her. Maybe they could help. But it kept her mind off Kellogg's memories.

"Follow the Freedom Trail." Everyone had told her when she asked.

But they all happened to leave out the Super Mutants. Nick had said they were green, but all June saw was grey, so she ignored him. Everything was either grey or black or white. Her Vault suit was deep grey, with a line of lighter grey down the middle. Nate had always said her hair was a deep red, but it was just grey. Everything was grey, and it pissed her off. The color grey made her angry. She'd seen it for 35 years of her life, and she hated it. It had become her least favorite color and it was one of the only ones she had seen. 

Even the light of the lantern when she went inside the Old North Church was grey.

-

"Stop right there." Two guns were aimed at her and Dogmeat at her side. Her laser rifle was hooked to her messenger bag and she made no motion to retrieve it. She needed these people's help, badly. "You went through a lot of trouble to arrange this meeting. But before we go any further, answer my questions." June nodded. "Who the hell are you?"

"Why don't you tell me who you are first?" She learned quick to not trust anyone. In fact, it was the first thing June had learned in the Wasteland. The woman standing between the two gun wielders, the one who had spoke initially, narrows her eyes and scowls.  

"In a world full of suspicion, treachery, and hunters - We're the synths only friend. We are the Railroad. So answer my damn question."  _Fair enough._

"I followed the Freedom Trail looking for the Railroad. I'm not your enemy. Really like the Paul Revere-esque lantern in the window, by the way."

"If that's true, you have nothing to fear." The guns remained pointed in her direction. "Who told you how to contact us?" June swallowed harshly in response. 

"I helped Karl out of a jam. He knows a guy who knows a guy, and they hooked me up with a lead." _Nice one, June. That even sounds stupid._ But the woman believes her. There's movement behind the woman, something that catches her eyes, but without her glasses (broken in the Vault), they're nothing but a quick blur.

"I'm Desdemona, and I'm the leader of the Railroad. And you..." She's about to finish, but the person from behind her comes into view, and June is suddenly chocking because she sees them. She sees the copper tone of Desdemona's hair, and tan color of the stones around them. She can see the shiny brown of Dogmeats fur and he stands at a guarded hunch in front of her. Her face contorts with confusion because she sees the colors, the ones she had only heard about. They're real, not some bullshit story. Desdemona gives her a side look before turning to look at the man. "Deacon, where have you been?" she snaps at him. 

"You're having a party. What gives with my invitation?" June's heart rate picks up, pounding in her chest. Her throat feels dry, and she feels a headache grow in her skull.  _Of course someone that might kill you ends up being your soulmate. Classy._

"I need intel." Desdemona hisses. "Who is this?"

"Woah, news flash, boss." Deacon laughs at her. "This lady is kind of a big deal out there." June is standing there, awkwardly and silently, gasping like a fish out of water. She needs to pull her shit together, or things'll go south. 

"Glad someone noticed." She manages to say, a sly smirk across her lips. He turns to her then, and she wonders if he just saw colors too, but maybe not. Maybe this was how Nate felt.

"You know, you're practically famous." He laughs again, and she almost swoons.  _Get a fucking grip, oh my god, June._ "The Railroad owes a crate, hell, a whole truckload of Nuka-Cola for what you did to Kellogg. He was our pubic enemy number one." He seems like he's about to say more, but Desdemona interrupts him. 

"So, you're vouching for her?" The leader seems unconvinced, and June starts to count the seconds before someone puts a bullet in her head. 

"Yes." June sighs audibly in relief. "Trust me, she's someone we want on our side." Desdemona stares at him for a few seconds, like shes looking for something in his gaze. How she could find anything with those sunglasses, she hadn't the slightest clue.

"That changes things." She sighs, turning back to face June. "So, stranger, why'd you wanna meet us anyway?"

-

June said nothing, for weeks. She's too afraid, and it wasn't at all relevant. She'd just met this man only a month ago, and he'd told her he was synth, given her a recall code and then pretended to convulse when she read it. She didn't know whether to trust him with the fact that she could see through all his little white lies.  _White._ She decides that was her favorite color, even though she could see it before she met him. White looked different after him. It was a little brighter, a little less grey. And it was the same color as the lies he told her. 

"Deacon." Her voice is quiet in the house they had cleared out to sleep in. They never slept very far away from each other. He tried to hide it, but his hands would skim her skin every time they were close, as if he needed to touch her. And she hadn't minded in the slightest. Anytime his skin touched hers, a white spark spread through her skin. She couldn't see it, but she could feel it. Maybe it was because he thought she was fragile, or because he'd never had a partner before.

She can't see his eyes open behind his sunglasses, the ones he never takes off, but she knows they are open. "Yeah, boss?" His voice pierces the dark, and she smiles gently. 

"What do you think about..." June stops, sighing. "About soulmates? Do you- Have you found yours? Do you see the colors?" She hears his breathing pause, and its so quick she almost doesn't, but she does. Just barely. And then he clears his throat, and laughs. She knows a lie is coming.

"Wish I did. Getting pretty sick of this black and white shit." He laughs again, to cover his cough. "What about you? Can you see colors?" She can't lie to him, even if she tried. She had always been a good liar in her time.... but not to him. Not to Deacon. He could see right through her. But she couldn't tell him who. No way. She take a heavy breath through her nose. 

"Yeah... Yeah, I can see them." Her heart is beating too loud in her ears. "But I couldn't see them when I woke up. My husband wasn't my soulmate, but I was his. By some stupid twist of fate, this shit works that way. And... and now I know what he felt like, and I hate it." Here she was, oversharing. She always overshared with Deacon. It was a flaw of hers. Deacon makes a sound in his throat, sighing. "It feels like I'm missing a half that my heart aches for."

"Have you told them?" Its a simple question, but it didn't have a simple answer. 

"No, I can't. He... I'm not his, and I can't over complicate shit. Not now, not when I'm looking for Shaun, not when there's everything out in the Commonwealth trying to kill me." Theres silence against, and then the sound of movement and rustling.  She can see his hand reach out for hers and she takes it, finding comfort in the touch of his skin. 

"It'll work out, Whisper. Everything does." And then she hears him start to snore.

-

When board of nails makes contact with her side, she feels a burning sensation and feels red dance behind her eyelids. Red is her least favorite color, and she sees it more than she saw grey before she met Deacon. A scream rips through her throat, and the scream is almost more painful than the rusty nails embedded in her skin. The mutant is close enough that a blast from her shotgun rips through his face and makes him go limp.

Nick was right about Super Mutants, they're green. 

Deacon catches her before she hits the ground, trying to shush her when she screams again. "No dying on me, boss. You still gotta tell me who's got ya seeing colors. Don't tell me its that tin can, Danse." June laughs, but it turns into a cry and whimper and Deacon starts to walk her towards the Old North Church. Its only a block away, and they both hope she makes it. 

They walk through the tunnels to Railroad Headquarters and June starts to feel more stable on her feet, but more sweat coats her skin the farther the get though the tunnels. "Dee..." She breathe heavily, putting far too much weight on him. "I owe it to you..." She wheezes as she breathes in. "You should know who..." Her eyes squeeze shut as she holds onto the board still attached to her side. They were both too afraid to pull it out. "Who it is."

"You don't owe me shit, June, except to stay alive. That's all you owe me." He'd called her June. He'd never called her anything other than Whisper. 

"Shut up and let me talk, just in case." Her voice is slow and heavy. Her vision fades around the edges, but she fights to stay awake. "I always thought that the whole color thing was total bullshit. Because I'd gone 35 years without seeing a single thing other than black, white, and grey." He helped her down the stairs into the main room of HQ. She was half unconscious, and her chest heaved with each breath, but she still laughed.

"So, tell me what your favorite color is." June stumbles halfway through the tunnels and Deacon catches her, driving the board in a little further. She cries out in a gut wrenching sound. "Sorry, sorry!"

"W-white... It looks cleaner now..." She grimaces deeply. 

"Come on, Whisper, thats a little lame." She stumbles again, and he resorts to picking her up, carrying her the rest of the way through the tunnels. "I expected something cooler, like the rad green of those mushrooms you always pick." Her eyes close and the desperation in his voice gets heavier. "We're almost there, June, come on. Don't you pass out on me now." Deacon hurries more, josseling her.

 She feels a bed underneath her and hears Deacon talk frantically to Desdemona and Carrington. And then she hears nothing as her eyes slide closed.

-

"-sper? Whisper? Whisper!" Its Glory, she can tell that much. There's a dull ache in her side, and her throat feels rough. Her breath is a wheeze, and her chest rises and falls heavily. "Hey, Deacon, she's awake." Her eyes slide open at the sound of his name, and shes met with sliver reflective sunglasses. 

"Good morning, sunshine." Deacon laughs, causing a light smile to fall on her lips. She's full of Med-X, she can feel it, but Med-X is not the cause of how bright his smile is. She knows its not. 

"Deacon." Her voice is hoarse. 

"Scared the shit out of me, boss. Thought I was gonna lose you." He takes a hold of her hand, gripping it lightly. "You can't do that to me. I'm starting to like travellin' with a partner."

"Oh, please." June laughs and it feels like sandpaper grating her throat. "It'll take a lot more than a dumb super mutant with a board of nails to kill me. I took down Conrad Kellogg." He shakes his head, laughing with her. "But, uh, I'll let the super mutants know, tell them to take it easy next time, yeah?" 

"Yeah, you do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, if any of you guys are Mass Effect fans, I'll be posting a short fanfic for that today!


End file.
